Forgiveness
by eternaldreamer2690
Summary: Hermione returns to Hogwarts to finish her schooling without her two best friends. She isn't the only one.
1. Chapter 1

Hermione granger was distraught. 'I feel like a fool' she thought, as she angrily pushed through the crowd making for the only sanctuary left since her return to Hogwarts. Fame did not suit Hermione. Everyone wants to talk, everyone wants to ask questions, everyone suddenly wants to be friends, and not even the library was safe. Happily one place remained where Hermione could just be.

The blank stretch of wall was all she needed, passing before it three times she focused on what she wanted most, "sanctuary, comfort, I need a safe place away from everything". She turned and faced the wall, the door had appeared. With a grateful smile Hermione turned the knob and pushed her way inside. It had been a thrill to discover the room of requirement still worked, though doubtless the room of lost/hidden things was gone for good. Closing the door behind her she felt it disappear and knew she was safe, 'hidden in the new room of hidden things'. The random thought almost made her smile, but her mind could never let her so easily forget why she was there to begin with. "Ronald" she breathed a soft, tired sigh and smoothed the crumpled witch weekly. Shaking her head she tried to laugh but it was no use. This could not be brushed aside as poor journalism, too well she knew how facts could be twisted but for Merlin's sake this one came with a picture! Did he really think she wouldn't find out? "He can't really be that daft…" She ripped it to shreds. Abandoning her bag at the door and she dropped onto the nearest squashy armchair, and though emotionally drained she was determined to reason this out.

The man she thought she knew, the one she loved, who had been one of her best friends for nearly ten years, was possibly a moron but definitely a cheat. A lousy, two timing, pile of rancid doxy droppings. Which was a problem. One Hermione was unsure how to solve. She'd known his weaknesses. The desire for money was understandable. Growing up poor left him with a slight dependency on money for security, but they could work through that. His lack of self confidence in the past had led to jealousy and fights. Then after Voldemort fell they had all been subjected to interviews and invited to parties, the press had a field day over their new relationship, and Ron's confidence had soared. Hermione (and Harry) had been glad to see him shine for once. It seemed he finally knew his own worth. The attention had been good for him, but where Hermione and Harry had grown tired of it, Ron only seemed to want more. He never turned down a party invite, he loved to show up and show off, make a scene and then eagerly check the headlines the next morning. It was annoying at first and for once she had had reason to be the jealous one. Always questioning "where have you been, who were you with, is that lipstick?" slowly her dreams devolved into chaos. The parties had led to drinks, drinks led to girls, girls led to headlines and interviews and it all somehow led to money. Being somebody meant everything to him now. She had taken a back seat… after all that they had suffered and made it through. "This is intolerable!" she mumbled as silent tears rolled down her cheeks. She curled herself more tightly into a ball and soon fell asleep before the fire.

Draco had been too startled to move. 'How in the name of LeFae had she gotten in here, AGAIN!?' The first time Granger interrupted his solitude he had asked the room to shield him, which it must have done again because he was sitting almost directly in front of her and she hadn't noticed. "Why do you keep doing this granger, this is MY hiding place, why do YOU need to hide?" Impulsively he reached up to move a stray bit of her hair when his hand brushed something wet. "Tears Granger?" Wondering what could have upset her so much Draco summoned the shredded bits of magazine and mended them with a silent wave of his wand. The sight of a certain ginger snogging a mystery woman in some poorly lit pub was not what he had expected. "I guess you guys were just a little too perfect…" he whispered to the sleeping Gryffindor as he shredded the magazine for the second time. Still, he felt bad for the girl before him. After all that she had seen and done and been through, she deserved some peace, she deserved a happy life. An easy life, with someone to love and be loved by. She didn't deserve this… "Not that you have any right to care" he mentally chided himself and began packing his things. If she needed the room he could at least be a gentleman and give her a little privacy, after all one night in the dorms wouldn't kill him.

The next morning came a little too soon for Hermione, she had a strong desire to remain hidden in her room for the entire weekend. The world outside didn't make sense and she really didn't want to cope with it. Bits of her mother's advice drifted through her mind as she forced herself out of the chair and towards the door, "moping isn't coping little granger, when you're hurting and upset focus outward. Help someone, do something with a friend, and when you have some distance between you and your problems, cope. "Moping isn't coping, focus outward, moping isn't coping…" she repeated all the way up to Gryffindor tower to shower and change then down to breakfast in the great hall. A few Gryffindor's were still eating when Hermione came in, they waved her over, and happily she joined them. All day long she tried to follow her mum's advice, she helped first years with homework, aided Madam Pince in the library, and even went out to watch quidditch practice. It felt strange to be at Hogwarts without Harry or Ron. Even though she tried not to think of him, everything reminded her of who they used to be and who they were now. It was a very long day. In the end she had to escape, the common room was just too noisy and she had two important letters to write. She decided to walk down to the lake, maybe a little fresh air and quiet would calm her thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

Draco was sitting underneath an old oak tree down by the lake. Knees pulled up to his chest he hunched over arms wrapped firmly around his knees crumpled parchment in his fist. He had received a letter from his mother detailing the verdict from his father's trial. It was no surprise really, but that didn't ease the knot forming in his stomach. Life sentence in Azkaban. For the rest of his life, his father would be locked away, visitation was once a year. Draco sighed, "It could be worse" he whispered, they had enough evidence to go for the Kiss…Draco was lost in his own spiraling thoughts when granger sat down across the shore. When he finally looked up she was scribbling away, 'Probably some essay' he thought to himself. The sight of her was a strange comfort these days, he had spent so much time in his youth watching her, wanting to talk to her, someone who might be on his level intellectually, but he had lacked the guts to break tradition. So he'd been a prick instead. And then one day bad had gotten so much worse, he could still hear her screams... He dropped his head back onto his knees, it seemed like all he could feel these days was crushing self-loathing and regret…

Hermione was trying not to cry as she scrawled out her letter to Ron. She half wanted him to know how hurt she was half of her did not. Breaking up will only cause another media frenzy "which he will love" she muttered angrily, but it's this or stay with someone who clearly didn't love her nearly as much as he loved himself. Putting it that way made things seem so easy… She wondered how Harry would take it, he always suffered so much when they fought in school, but this would be final, no making up. He would understand, of course, he could see what Ron had become but at least he had Ginny. They were top of the world, blissfully in love. Hermione smiled, 'Yes, Harry would be fine but the golden trio will be gone'. She sighed as she signed her name and set the letter aside to dry. She leaned back against the tree and noticed the pale blonde figure across the water. His hair was longer, and a mess, his shoulders shook his thin, hunched frame. Concern wrinkled her brow, Draco was crying.

Unable to hold it back any longer Draco released the torrent of pent up pain, anger, and regret that had been threatening to tear him apart since he first got the dark mark and his first mission. He finally got what he had been brought up to think he wanted. Singled out by the dark Lord elevated to death eater status, trusted, chosen. Finally, he had taken his place but it was not what he had imagined. He remembered how he had foolishly bragged to his friends and showed off the mark in sixth year. "pathetic" he mumbled. How could anyone raise a child to believe that they wanted to kill people, any people, even their family, and friends if it meant satisfying the Dark Lord's wishes. For Merlin's sake, he had seen one of his school's teachers murdered before his eyes and then be consumed by a snake, while everyone around him laughed like it was the best form of entertainment they'd ever seen. The memories tore through him. The cowardice, the paralyzing fear, all the despicable things he had witnessed or been privy to, all the people who were dead, and here he was sobbing in the setting sunlight and back at school like nothing had happened. But everything had happened and he couldn't contain it anymore.

Hermione watched as Draco Malfoy fell apart before her, her first instinct was to go offer help or comfort but something held her back. Anger, maybe, the spiteful sense that he deserved whatever it was he was dealing with, definitely. She looked down at her arm, MUDBLOOD stood out against her light brown skin, pink and taut. She had not forgotten how he stood there and watched while his aunt tortured her in his dining room. He stood motionless as his aunt carved hatred into her flesh, effectively branding her. Undoubtedly, he deserved whatever pain he was feeling… but still.

Hermione didn't go to Draco, her Gryffindor courage failed. In class the next morning she watched him but he gave no sign of having ever been upset. He stoically completed the assignment, packed his things, and read for the remainder of the class. She wondered what he was reading... Hermione brushed thoughts of Draco aside, she had her own problems to deal with, her own memories that haunted her, her own damage and she really didn't need his. A tiny twinge of regret nagged the back of her mind, Draco had always been right behind her in every class, he might have been a good friend, someone with intellectual interests whom she could converse with. Harry and Ron had been smart but they didn't have the thirst for knowledge or the desire to prove they belonged. Ambition, they didn't have that, Draco did in spades. Maybe if she had gone over she could have made a friend, one who was on her level…she caught herself rising midway from her seat...but that was stupid, she shook her head. No, he would never want to be her friend. The war was over but that didn't mean the world was changed. They were still who they were.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been nearly a week but Hermione was rapidly developing a habit. One which was a little familiar, she smiled remembering how Harry had once become obsessed with watching Draco in their sixth year, but this was different. She started to notice how he was treated differently by everyone. The hostility was physical more often than verbal but it happened every day, every hour, every class. He moved through it as though he didn't notice, as though he couldn't feel, but it made her ache. In fact, if she was honest with herself it made her ashamed. Everyone else seemed to have reached the same conclusion that Hermione had. That he and the rest of Slytherin house deserved what they were getting. She chastised herself for being so thick. The world hadn't changed and if she didn't say something, if this doesn't stop somewhere it will only escalate with time. She had once said that unity would be the only way to move forward. That dividing the kids into houses that having such vicious rivalries between them stunted their progress as a society. She remembered trying to explain it to Ron and his response had been more or less, "if that means we hafta cozy up to the Slytherins count me out", and the condescending, "Hermione you just don't understand about quidditch". And now after fighting a literal war about this crap, they had gone right back to the same way of doing things. The only difference was that the Slytherins were accepting their treatment. Before they had dished out as much as they had taken. Now their fire had gone out. But switching the oppressor and victim's places was not a solution. Most of these kids hadn't even participated in the war or final battle. How could they? Either they fought with their parents or they fought against them. Many families had simply kept the kids out of it. But here they were spouting their families sentiments and continuing the cycle. Hermione chewed her lip and pushed some eggs around on her plate. None of this was right, none of it was just. Hermione could feel herself heating up as her thoughts became more and more passionate. She came out of her reverie as the bell sounded announcing the end of breakfast. She hadn't touched her plate. "Damn", she muttered gulping down her juice and grabbing two pieces of toast before it all disappeared back to the kitchens. She sighed thinking of the elves still down there, slaving away. There was so much still to be done to heal this beautiful world of hers. Hermione heaved another sigh, realizing she could think of at least one place to start.

Throughout the day, Hermione's mind kept wandering back to Draco. Ancient runes kept her mind busy and distracted for a while but in every other class, she was finding it difficult to focus. Having made up her mind to attempt to talk to him she was now faced with the problem of what to say. How do you walk up to someone you have so much negative history with and initiate a civil conversation? 'Hi remember me, you taunted me for years, your family held me and my friend's hostage, and your aunt tortured me on your dining room floor, let's be friends?' She brushed a stray curl of hair out of her eyes and shifted the books in her arms. No, being that blunt wouldn't do. Something subtle and out of the way would be best, maybe when he is on his own and no one is watching. 'That way' she reasoned, 'neither of us is on display'. Yes, that would be her best chance at a genuine response. It wasn't a plan, more a vague concept but it was something. She smiled faintly before turning around and walking back down the hall and into the classroom she had just passed.

After a week in the dorms, Draco needed a night away. Unable to go home he found his way to the room of requirement. The dorms were becoming unbearable. Most his classmates ignored him but the few that didn't were infuriatingly die hard supporters of Voldemort's creed. And they wanted to whine and complain about his fall like they had actually fought beside him, instead of being children who were sheltered from the worst of the war. They expected him to sympathize with their point of view. Surrounded by people he who either hated him or whom he would rather not associate with he felt trapped. Draco sighed, had it not been for his Mother he wouldn't have come back to Hogwarts at all. He dropped into a plush gray armchair while pulling a book from his bag and settled in for an evening of peace and quiet. The fire in the room created a cozy and comfortable atmosphere, he sipped the tea the room created for him. When he began to feel drowsy he briefly considered moving to the bed but couldn't quite summon the will. The thought passed through his mind faster than he could have acted on it. Darkness moved in on the edges of his vision as he drifted into peaceful oblivion.

When Draco awoke, neck stiff and legs numb, he was startled by the sight of Hermione Granger sitting curled up in a chair like his own, reading, and in her pajamas. A table had sprung up between them, holding two steaming cups of tea. She looked up as he stirred,

"Good morning Draco."

Draco froze midway through getting up. She could see him, oh. She didn't sound mad or startled. In fact, her greeting was warm. Remembering his manners Draco responded,

"Hello".

Inwardly he winced, 'hello? really Malfoy?' Hermione smiled and folded her book closed,

"I know it's early but since I found you here, I've wanted to ask you if we could talk."

Draco's eyes grew wide and he lost a little of his color,

"about what?" he choked out, the implications of what she said sent tremors of fear straight to his stomach where they settled like a lead weight.

"Nothing, in particular, I just.." Hermione trailed off, now that she had found the opportunity she was unsure what to say… "After breakfast, could we meet back here?" Draco's eyes darted to her face, she was gazing at him steadily but he didn't detect any traces of anger she had every right to feel. He really had no idea what this was about.

"Ok Gra-Hermione" he corrected himself. If she could use his name he could use hers, right?

"ok," she smiled "see you after breakfast." and with a swish of bushy hair was gone. If not for how awkward it was he might have been dreaming. Draco flopped down into his chair and dropped his head into his hands. He rumpled his own hair before tucking it back behind his ears. Head still bowed he took a deep breath before getting up, stretching and heading down to breakfast.


End file.
